can't live without music

2011-09-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

wish list

a sports backpack
a black vest
another pair of boots (probably by Christmas)
2 more pairs of jeans + some pants for work
short trip away (wishes for Langkawi's sun, sand and sea)

2011-07-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

does this blog still exist? (",)

moving on in life...

you think that nobody cares. but you should know that i do.
it was not by my choice to leave. you did what you had to do.

i really do miss the times we spent together.
the journey we have taken. good times and bad.

i will always be your guardian angel by your side, hoping that you will do just fine.

missing you everyday...

your monkey face.

2010-12-09T00:21:00.000+08:00

rrrright...

the trip that was meant to be, was not meant to be...

the impulse booking of flight tickets, the not knowing what time the flight was then the not knowing when i return was enough to piss me off for a start.

but things had to take a turn when we were all looking forward to it, and were scheduled to depart in a week's time.

nobody's to blame. things just had to happen. it is unforeseen...

we could go proceed as usual, but there won't be mood for anything. of cuz i'm upset, but at the same time understanding about the entire situation. i just don't know what or who i am angry with. but i just want to shut myself away from people.

at times, i just hate my life. why can't for once things go ahead as planned?

why can't it be as per what i tell others about what or where i am headed to?

is my life that jinx?

why God? why?

why can't things be perfect for me just once?

just not in the mood for anything. and i have to pretend.

2010-10-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

oh boy... it has been more than 5 months since i last wrote something. but i doubt anybody would be reading it anyway, so it does not really matter.

let's see what have i been up to since my 25th birthday. hmmm... actually nothing much. it has always been work, work, work and more work. haha!!

but i do have my fair share of fun with people. like, brainstorming ideas for 2011 VBS publicity flyer... the final design has been printed, and it looks really nice! i am so proud of it!

what else~ oh, and coming up with the design idea of a t-shirt. God did not give me a gift at drawing, to put my idea onto design on paper. but i conveyed my idea to somebody else who put into design. not quite close to what i had in mind, but the design did capture the elements of my idea. =)

and also, involvement in a relatively new area in ministry. but i have not really sat down prayerfully and ask God, what does He wants the ministry to be working towards.

ideas are at the back of my head, but i just have not put it down in writing and talk to experienced people about it.

alright... time to sleep, get recharged for tomorrow, for it would be a long day~

i wished i could have rested this weekend. but no, have to work~

2010-05-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

20 May 2010 - A Special Day With An Amazing God

Alright, the day I turned 25 came and gone by. I spent an awesome, wonderful day which I did not expect to happen.

I was greeted with wet ground and light drizzle when I woke up. One thing on my mind was, "Please not let the weather be like this the whole day..." Well, I was actually more or less prepared for the worst if it were to rain the entire day.

And so I made way down town to meet J. Had breakfast and boarded the bus to Vivo then to RWS. By then, skies there were clear and sunny. Rented a locker to store J's precious for the day. Then walked into Universal Studios. We spent the day there as my birthday gift.

Anyway, throughout the day Mr. Sun did not leave our side. He was shining bright and sunny above us, enabling us to enjoy the day outdoors.

What struck me was that God really knew what I wanted for this special day and He gave it to me. At that point in time, I really felt God's love.

What's really was, it was still drizzling when I got home. My guess, God probably kept the drizzle just at my housing estate, but not where I was at.

God, your love just amazes me this time. I know you are there.

2010-05-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

7 May 2010

Aaron Kwok's de Show Reel was awesome to the max!!

Great seat, great show, great music, great sound.

Was sitting near the band, and it was so tempting to pay more attention to them rather than whatever is happening on stage. Haha!!

For the second time, I felt Singaporeans watching a concert, it's like watching a movie. Buying food and drinks, just sitting there, literally watching + waving the complimentary light sticks. omgeez...

But not for me of cuz... While he sang his top favourite hits, especially the most popular one during my younger days, I stood up and danced! The entire section of where I was seated, I was the only one who stood up and ENJOY~ The other fanatics only stood up and went down when Aaron got off the stage and went around the audience. But no, I was not one of them who went forward to grab him.

Really enjoyed myself that night. Till he comes again, I shall indulge myself with his old songs...

And no, I did not win the car. Damn...

2010-05-03T00:15:00.000+08:00

Dear God,
I need answers. Would you give them to me if I asked you?

2010-04-27T23:52:00.000+08:00

feeling like sh*t

been feeling lousy over the couple of weeks. i do not know why, but feelings of unhappiness and random questions about my life have been surfacing.

soon i will be 25. but what have i achieve in my life thus far? what do i look for in the future? will i be able to get what i desire to have in the next few years?

there are so much that i would like to say, but i am unable to find the words to pen them down.

is life fair?

to be continued...(probably)

2010-04-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

welcome to the P-plate club

after 1 year, 3 attempts, and over two thousand over buckaroos, i finally can say "Hellooo... P-plate~"

but i could not have it without God.

thank God for gracious tester.

thank God for the wisdom to manoeuvre the car during parking.

thank God for calming my nerves even though i may have thought i had performed badly.

i may not have given my best shot today, but i am certainly satisfied with what i had tried hard for. my hopes to be able to drive before turning 25 has finally been fulfilled.

(",)

2010-03-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

geez... haven't been visiting and writing this blog. *sweeps away cobwebs*

CNY was good. cleared up part of the room. now waiting for the wardrobe to be delivered, which i don't when that will happen. sometime this year hopefully... nobody seems no bother about it cuz everybody's busy.

work has kept me busy... really busy... had some issues to deal (and still dealing) with but it is just so retarded. i don't wanna talk much about it here in this public domain. you don't know who's watching... oh well... i wanna see the sunshine after the thunderstorm...

went to zouk last Friday with Bryan, Drew, my sis and the boyfriend. stayed with B& D till the party ended, that was like 4am. got home, showered and slept at 5am. then woke up at 12pm. i still had energy for the rest of the evening.

i really don't know what to write. cuz nothing much has happened. blehx...

oh, it was nice having the msn convo on what we could do if we were on the amazing race asia. haha!! i'm glad that you said i'll be other person whom you will do the race with. and yes, you would be the only person that i want to do the race with. because i believe you are capable and daring in everything. we shall aim to be on it one day oh...

alright... shall go to bed now... another day tomorrow. wheet...

2010-01-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

went to the 2nd Singapore Tattoo Show last weekend. did not spend as much time as i would like to there this time round. thus, wasn't able to like take photos of interesting, nice looking and cool tattoos.

my sister took some pictures, but not as many as what i took last year.

i don't know why, but it felt different from last year's. and i did not feel that it was as crowded as last year's, as it was the 1st ever one to be hosted in Singapore.

Chris Garver returned this time and he tattooed! guess the price for a simple design, which take just about an hour to complete? $500 buckaroos boy! oh my goodness! we (my sis and i) stood from afar to count the number of $50 note the lady took out to pay him. we were stunned!

but of course, he's a popular artist and to those who got him to tattoo, i salute them. they willingly paid for his work to be inked on them. it's priceless cuz it ain't easy to engage him cuz there is a long queue of people wanting to get inked by him.

and we did get to see the traditional japanese tattoo technique. the colours were so bright and beautiful!

and yes, Kim Saigh was this year's ambassador for the convention. but i was surprised that her booth had no long queues of people who wanted a picture with her or buying and autographed poster.

not the same for Chris though. as long as he is not tattooing, there are people at his booth who want a picture with him or chit chatting with him. his booth had Tim Hendricks who is a well-known artist too.

Bob Tyrrell's booth is far away from the front of the exhibition hall this time round. it felt weird having his booth all the way back, and he shared with a local artist the booth.

oh well, still looking forward to the future tattoo shows here. it shall be my annual "exhibition" to attend. (",)

2009-12-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

Christmas isn't Christmas till it happens in your heart

what does Christmas really mean? does it mean buying gifts and presents for your friends and loved ones? does it mean drinking and parties all night long?

i guess, many do not really know the true meaning of Christmas yet. it is not just this time of the year you splurge and get gifts for others.

it can be Christmas everyday! all because of Jesus...

and i guess, as one grows older, gifts and presents don't really mean anything. getting something for somebody, is just to show your appreciation to them being your friend.

as years go by, the number of gifts have been dwindling. but who bothers about it.

all that matters, is having friends who will be there for you whenever you face problems or are troubled..

2009-12-02T10:11:00.001+08:00

a memorable 1 dec 2009

dear blog,

i will never forget this day.

the day that i had done the stupidest thing, which i never thought one day i would do - lock myself out of the office.

i was lucky enough to have taken the 3 most important things, other than the keys.

important thing no. 1: phone - i am still contactable and able to call for help.

important thing no. 2: wallet - still had money to for survival.

important thing no. 3: ez-link card - so that i could travel to the places i needed to go.

the rest of my stuff were locked in the office. well, at least i know it is safe somewhere.

hopefully after i finish writing this, take a shower and then call the landlord, they already have a spare key that i can use to unlock the office so that i can get back to work. (edited @ 1355hrs: true enough, the landlord's office called just right after i walked to my room.)

i am still thinking what does the big Man up there want me to learn from this incident. hmmz...

2009-11-25T23:52:00.000+08:00

night of random meets

had dinner with daph tan and jo chan tonight. then accompanied jo to far east and look for her wedges (shoes) for her D&D. we walked from shop to shop looking for her shoes but nothing caught the lady's eye.

we walked from shop to shop looking at other things too. then we walked and stopped by outside this shop. jo and i thought of the same thing "who was that guy related to in the shop?" cuz he looked damn familiar. then behind the counter, the upper face looked somewhat familiar. then i said "it's peggy chok" but i guessed nobody heard me. then jo went "EH PEGGY!" and so we walked into the shop and chit-chat for a short while.

we then left the shop to walk around more. then jo was walking slightly ahead of daph and i, and jo saw someone familiar looking at her. and we walked closer, she knew who it was - fiona yip. but daph was the ultimate. she was lagging behind me and very loudly she exclaimed "fiona who?" i replied "yip!" at least i remembered the last name of hers. it was hi-bye then continued shopping.

at that moment, i told the other 2 ladies "eh, next thing you know we will bump into jamie thia." jo replied "maybe, cuz they work around here one." lolz...

and while ago over msn, daph just told me her momma saw lin tan at suntec city. lolz...

ain't it such a coincidence to be bumping into people you have not seen in years?

and i want to say it once more - why do i not bump into people i wanna meet?!

2009-11-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

wanted to write something yesterday. but something was wrong with the network. the pages were loading slowly and not fully.

now i can't remember what i want to blog about.

anyway...

2009-10-09T00:41:00.000+08:00

oh, and i can't believe New Urban Male actually made a new shirt from the latest word -

BOOMZ

no jokes about it. i made my sister looked at NUM while we were on our way to the store at Vivo.

2009-10-09T00:37:00.000+08:00

wonderful evening spent with a new duloid - Drew, from Georgia and my sister.

met Hye Jung earlier, who was with Yiqing at VivoCity, where the Doulos is right now.

while at CityLink Mall, walked passed and waved at 2 people i know. 1 of them a committee member of a client, and the other a hotel banquet staff.

then at esplanade, saw somebody familiar. i think she taught us PE during lower sec times.

earlier during the week, met and greeted Dodo from the Doulos at Tanjong Pagar MRT giving out the Doulos fliers. i saw passerby holding onto the fliers, and wondered who was giving them out. and ta-da! was surprised to see her! so i walked up and struck a conversation. and this was how it went:

me: "hello. you look familiar."

her: "i do?"

me: yea, you went to Hope PC before."

her: "oh yea!"

hahaha!! that's how i struck up a conversation with her. hope to see her this weekend on the ship again. =)

looks like this week had been a week of bumping into people.

why do i not bump into people whom i would like to see??

2009-10-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

whee~!
finally had found a skin i like and tweaked it for my own use. =) happy like dog now...

but i think it still needs some 'polishing'. but for now, leaving as it it.
it looks dull, but who cares. as long as i like it.

anyway, will try to upload some photos of the recent trip to the web albums. probably this weekend or next.

stay tuned.

2009-09-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

oopz... what happened to blogger?

oopz... the images on my blogskin are de-linked. keep watch for this space while i search for nice skins...

2009-08-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

i bought a sunflower to make someone happier.
and i am proud of myself for just doing that. it was the first time ever that i thought of doing that for somebody who felt so low.

i don't know why the sunflower though. maybe cuz sun equates happiness? though it is a flower, and it will soon perish. but at the end of it, the reasons for giving it were well thought.

at this point, i know you needs lots of love, support and care. i don't know who else will be around for you. i'll try my very best to make you less miserable.

i can only be your sunshine when you are around. when we depart, the same sunshine girl is not there.

if only things were different...

2009-08-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

i don't know what happened to over the weekend or today.

i don't know why you wanted those pictures taken, by me and not someone else.

i believe there is a story to it. but since you didn't tell, i can't help but wonder and guess.

but, i just hope that it is not what i imagined.

whether pleasant or not if you should tell me about it, i will keep mum of what i heard. i trusted you with my little secret, i am sure you will do to.

right now, i just hope you will feel better. let me be the sunshine that brightens up your day.

*loves from me*

2009-07-12T20:39:00.002+08:00

D.L is the word of the last 3 weeks

wondering what's D.L? an expression of irritation and dissatisfaction, i think.

some organisers and people think they know it all, but actually they don't. and when i try to give my 2 cents worth of of tips, they were ignored. *sigh

but overall, i guessed i enjoyed myself that couple of days. =)

on another note, went for an ex-junior's 21st birthday party on Friday night. stayed there till the early morning then went hommie to catch a few winks. but almost got kicked off the bed by the toddler niece. hahah!!

anyway, had lotsa fun at the party, although i was sure that i was the oldest who hung around late. heehee... thanks del. hope you like the gift, though i don't think you will be reading this.

and don't know how the heck i started conversations with this junior whom i hardly knew back in school. considering she's 4 years my junior, was in the band too but i didn't even know she existed. haha!!

best comment of the night i heard was "come, cheryl i make you a drink. i know you can drink one.. that night already drink wine..." woah... i have not like drink and gotten high or drunk before. that was the first time ever i heard that. hahahah!!

alright... don't know when my next update will be yo.. haha!!

2009-06-14T22:54:00.004+08:00

I'M BACK

... from church camp that is. honestly, i haven't been to the last few camps for whatever reasons there were. i think the last camp i attended was the one at JB, just across the Causeway?

but i am glad that i made it this time round, despite not wanting to go for few other reasons.
God opened my eyes and my ears to see what He is able to do. it is not an immediate thing that can be granted or given upon requests. He works through people, opens their eyes and hearts bit by bit until they finally see it.

i guess i had finally understood what "pray without ceasing" means to see things being changed. and it is not just one person's prayer to change things, but prayer of all who want to see it answered. it is a process, testing of patience and waiting for it to happen at the right time.

camp closing was emotional. who says life as a Christian was easy? i was reminded that our lives had to be broken for us to be closer and stronger to God. many personal sharings, many tears, many encouragements. nothing better to get all of us started afresh with God.

i must say that the camp booklet and souvenir was awesome. everything was personalized. my first reaction at seeing the camp booklet "WOW!" appreciate all the hard work that had gone into producing the booklets.

also had great time executing the games with Greg, Sharon and Samuel. thanks to Auntie Dora who roped us in for the recreation for campers. we were so afraid that nobody would be back for the games, but almost everybody came back to participate in our crazy. oh man, instructing 150-odd people (adults & youth) to play games is no easy task. but i am glad they enjoyed it. oh, Auntie Dora and myself made our 'sweet escape' when the Generals game was over. we managed to run away from the water bomb wars.

got to also play beach volley and ultimate frisbee. it was kinda tiring running up and down for the frisbee. beach volley was pain but fun. no pain no gain. had minor bruise as souvenir. was also surprised that a couple of adults actually can play volleyball. and i got myself just a little darker. it wasn't sunny hot, but it was good enough for me. i shan't complain.

oh, finale night was hilarious. HPC really has got its own talents. we are a multi-national church. hahaha! the youth did some wonderful dance too.

overall, i think there was no mistake in bringing the adults and youth together for this camp. thanks to the hardworking camp comm for putting these all together.

and... i think driving up to camp is more fun than riding the coach. you can take time to drive around and see places, eat, shop, etc... can't wait to drive up for the next camp when i am qualified to. nobody's stopping me from driving up. and i would like a sporty car to drive up. haha!!
and i passed J's estate when the bus was on its way back to Singapore. it was so near yet so far... could have just stopped over somewhere and go visit my animal friends.

good night...

2009-06-09T23:43:00.001+08:00

i think i am gonna screw the final theory test after i get back from camp.

need to find time to study for it when i am away this weekend. i haven't really read through the book at least once. know very little about what's there. seems kinda hard to me yo...

think positive. psycho myself that i can do it!

2009-05-31T01:00:00.002+08:00

it is almost june... and i have not been writing for a month. =)

it is alright not to write, cuz i don't think anyone bothers to visit anyway.

will be busy with church camp and AYG in the next 2 months...
oh, i think i am gonna apply for work at resorts world sentosa, with universal studios singapore. as park operations crew. =) yup... something which i would love to be part of or give it a try..

yar.. will write more again when i feel like it.. hahaha!

2009-05-02T11:49:00.003+08:00

it is MAY and i would like to wish the babies whom i know born in this month a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

1st - Matt Teoh
2nd - Sam Quek, David Shim, Michelle Loh (according to Facebook)
3rd - Josh Lee (Sr), Celine You (according to Facebook)
8th - Yenny and Kim Spykerman
13th - Michelle Lim
20th - MYSELF!, Janice Yeo, Krystal Eng
21st - Clararara Lim
24th - Alvin Tan
26th - David Thong
27th - Caryl

okie... that is so far what i know. anybody who is celebrating in May and would like me to wish you, drop me a message.. (",)

right, and so i am a new toy and a human pet for 5 lovely canines. there were 2 others, but did not get to play with them as much cuz they were "quarantined" for reasons. but still managed to walk one of them and played with the other when she was in the house for a while (that is after the other 5 went to bed). i am missing them already...

seriously, i was never really a fan of dogs. only dog i got close to (before all these) was my cousin's dog in malaysia and that was like many many many many years ago. when i was still a young kid. but these canine friends of mine are too irresistible!!! they make me forget everything unhappy and put the littlest joy in my life. it will only be in my furthest dreams and wishes that i ever own a dog.

till i meet them again... *loves Titus, Silver, Jewel, Mocca, Jemma, Diamond and Coffee*

2009-04-29T22:18:00.002+08:00

think i've MIA-ed? i have not. just don't know what to write about.

nothing exciting or happening in life. except that i just started driving lessons though. it was fun. many more to come. yes, i can do it!

the looonnggg weekend is here.

2009-04-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

'some' people have been "complaining" that i do not update my blog.
but the fact is that, there is nothing interesting to write about...

anyway, worry not. i have not gone MIA-ed. just been "working" a little too hard. but it is all over now...

past 2 weeks had been tiring. long days and late nights... but the event ended on a blastful high... i never expected people who were serious professionals to also let their hair down and had the great fun all night.

well, indeed i had met many wonderful and nice people over the past 3 days. amazing delegates, speakers, hotel staff, etc etc...

oh, one of the most interesting things i got to learnt was the highly advance seamless switcher for projectors. running 2 laptops with 2 different sets of powerpoints, and with just one button, you can switch between 2 screens! how cool is that?! not only can it switch, but it can freeze the slide on the projected screen, and at the same time you can do other things on the laptop without people knowing! hahaha!! yes yes, i am easily amused and satisfied. at least i know of a new technology.

there was a debate on the 1st day, and it was really lighthearted and funny. i really had a good laugh over the statements and things said throughout the debate, as well and the question and answer segment with the audience.

ohoh, i was in-charged of the room where it ran the management track workshop. i had fun sitting in the session and to gain something out of it. the speakers were really entertaining.

alright, i am sniffing and coughing now. likely to come down with fever soon too i guess... i think i should be thanking Mr. X for airborning his bug around. considering that i was around him the last weekend and 3 days during this week. could also be that sleep was not sufficient enough to fight against the bug. however, i think i slept pretty well on thursday night, cuz i think we were totally exhausted. and yes, my sleeping partner was knocked out the moment she plonked herself on the bed after showering. haha! and now i know, you are quite a heavy sleeper when you are really really tired.

all i can say was, all things went well despite hiccups here and there. my fault, yes i know... i have tried my best. the people really appreciated all the efforts that went into it. =)

okok, shall end here and retire to bed...

2009-03-15T21:51:00.002+08:00

movies galore

i think this year will be the year of comics turned into movies.

so far screening in theaters: Dragon Ball Evolution.

upcoming ones: Street Fighter - The Legend of Chun Li, X-Men Origin - Wolverine, G.I. Joe...

another book turned into movie is none other than Harry Potter. which book is it now, i already lost track of it.

i will want to watch Chun Li and Wolverine. G.I Joe, maybe too...

yay, so exciting. haha!

2009-03-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

cheryl will be a horrible person when she is grouchy, sleepy or feeling moody.

never mess around when she is in that state.

2009-03-02T22:57:00.002+08:00

good exercise

i think i walked alot today. and i mean ALOT! up and down, to and fro. by the time i am done with all errands, i am exhausted.

and i ate lunch at 2plus in the afternoon. and guess what, i got hungry while on the bus ride home. how can that be?!

i am tired, but i am sitting in front of the comp waiting for the repeat telecast of amazing race.

2009-02-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

cheryl shall refrain from msn-ing people who don't quite like to have proper conversations.

2009-02-24T00:03:00.003+08:00

wonder what have i been up to lately?

nothing much actually... found something educational to do though, that is, downloading drum instructional videos and learning how to play them.

besides that, also been spending time playing the driving theory trial questions that i had subscribed for. yup... 3 weeks to the test, and i hope to be as prepared as i can. i would not want to screw up on the first try.

nothing exciting that happened too. except i almost went to visit ex CCA when the term tests were on. thankfully i made a decision to inform conductor roughly what time i will appear, and she replied by informing that there was no CCA due to the tests. lolz... i would be a sotong if i had gone back oh...

rrright... my week supposedly was packed this week. but the above was scrapped and there had been no alternative plans for the day, i stayed home. trying to download like movies, and boy it took me freaking long to download just 1 movie.

and so i had "kopped" Iron Man and Ip Man from a friend. and i can finally say "I HAVE WATCHED IRON MAN!" ok ok, i am kinda lagging behind in my movie watching. but at least i managed to watch it! next to watch will be Ip Man... and then when i get Slumdog Millionaire, whoot...

and yes, highlight of the weekend was the retreat a few of us went to. and boy... it was quite a torture i would say. i think i gave more negative feedback than positive ones. but the people we met were quite nice.

oh yes, there were suppose some meeting with old school pals, but i could not make it cuz of the above retreat. but i did meet up with another close school pal and her partner though. we had fun just catching up and talking about stuff. we 2 should meet more often like this. haha!!!

i want to be a kid again - going to the science centre, visiting the zoo... these are 2 things that i would like to do. anybody would like to join me? =D

2009-02-14T00:23:00.002+08:00

i consider most people i know as friends.
do you consider me as your friend too?

i feel like an additional piece of jigsaw puzzle, which does not fit anywhere, cuz the picture is already complete with the right puzzle pieces. or maybe, i am like a lost sheep?? would the lost sheep be finally found one day?

i dislike loneliness.

when will i be able to find a specific group of people whom i can hang out with and have fun?

2009-02-09T23:54:00.001+08:00

what am i missing out really?

2009-02-07T23:57:00.001+08:00

hurray! i finally got the pair of black berms i wanted for quite a long time. it's nothing special, but i just needed a pair of new berms lah... been looking for the pair that will catch my eye, and finally today i managed to.

2009-02-05T18:43:00.002+08:00

here? there, or there?

oh where, oh where... something sounds good. but my mind's not made up. *sigh* i am so close to getting what i have dreamt and longed for. but now, i do not know what is stopping me from saying yes.

just thinking about the things, people and stuff that i have to leave behind, i do not know if i can let it go. or, will people accept the decision i made?

so close, just so close to be able to have what i have wished for. let's just weigh the pros and cons among the 3 possibilities, and from there will i find the answer.

thank you and you for sharing the plans that you are trying to work out, in order to help my future. thank you also for sharing part of your lives with me. you are really a friend, sister whom i can rely on and share my woes with.

2009-02-01T00:43:00.002+08:00

365 days later

at last, it has been 365 days exactly. a year ago on this date, i started working. now a year later, i am a free person again.

what feelings do i have? relieved? sad? refreshed? i don't know...

what plans do i have? hmm... let's see... pack room, re-organise furniture, install new furniture, etc... work wise... let's see what comes along or what is there. anything that can get money, i would be willing to do. of cuz, it has to be a decent, righteous job. =)

alright, thought that i can sleep in later on my first day to relax. but no, got to get up early and get out of the house for breakfast then church. mom has got meeting, plus the next couple of weeks will be like this... there will be training for the March holz VBS. but i think it'll be fun though. so no regrets about it.

hitting the sack. bye...

2009-01-28T11:05:00.002+08:00

it's wednesday morning and i am here blogging.

yepz, i'm still on "holiday" until tomorrow. haha! well, gonna be at home waiting for the nephew and nieces to come. will be having another round of steamboat dinner tonight again.

i suddenly feel like getting down to cooking some dishes when i am free from work. lolz... whether that will happen or not, i don't know. must find some recipes to try out first.

okie, another mission i will try, is to pack and clear my room. that plan has been shelved like a couple of times. i should attempt to accomplish it once and for all. or rather, in stages until it is finished.

i am hungry now... haha!!

2009-01-17T21:23:00.004+08:00

watch out for the photos i took from the 1st Singapore Tattoo Convention soon. =)
updated
the photos of the tattoo convention are uploaded. click here to view
there ain't many photos, but i do hope you will enjoy what i have taken.

2009-01-15T00:46:00.002+08:00

today, i was told about something which i did not expect at all. i don't wish to say it here, cuz it is a public domain. i thought it was meant to be a joke, but then again, i knew it wasn't. that totally caught me off guard, although i knew about the couple of suggestions that was made. but i did not indicate an interest in it.

i feel that i am living 2 lives. which is the real me? i can't always be faking on one side, and be real on the other. i can be honest with my feelings to person A, but not person B. sucks living dual lives.

anyway, if only i had the means to live on my own, i so will. i don't like to trouble people for help. i may not be able to do it now. and i don't know whether to laugh or say thank you to you, who is so willing to help me. i know you want the best for me and you are trying to help. thank you for your listening ear, and also for sharing what you had gone through and your life experiences. thank you for comforting me and your advices.

places and options. opened doors, closed doors. where to next? to some place quiet, on a reflective retreat? do i really want some alone time?

2009-01-10T23:24:00.002+08:00

i just realised that, the last few times i bought clothes, they are mostly black tops.

geez.. what's gotten to me? use to dislike black tops, cuz it's hot! but now i'm liking it. hohoho!

1 more day to the end of the 1st tattoo convention in Singapore. been there for a longer time today, and saw quite a bit of great art. bob tyrrell was busying inking. chris was freaking busy selling posters and signing autograph. and boy, the price of the posters went up today! sheesh... with what i spent on 2 posters yesterday, it was equivalent to 1 poster today. haha! i made a good deal, and of cuz the patience paid off.

ok, shall tour around again and see more art. got to make my $50 3-day pass worth it man...

2009-01-10T00:08:00.002+08:00

I MET CHRIS GARVER! and had a picture taken with him (although it is a bit blur) but who cares?! maybe will try again these 2 days to get another when i am there.

HAHAHA!!! IT IS A DREAM COME TRUE. but sadly, i ain't the winner of the "Get Inked By Garver" contest. that will be another dream i hope for. but i'll try again next year if he will be the ambassador of the convention again. anyway, i queued like an hour and a half to get upclose to him. the decision to queue was not planned at all. cuz i was wandering around, and did not know where to start. then i came across this queue and wonder what could it be. so i walked up and took a look. and OH MY! it was garver selling his mass printed paintings with autograph. woah... and since i am already there, why not just jump in the queue. he took a couple of breaks, and i was so near yet so far. but i persevered and had the fruits of labour. and i told him to send greetings to the rest of the boys of Miami Ink. haha! if i had queued any later, i may not get out that place at 8.30pm. lolz...

oh, and i was standing next to Bob Tyrrell's booth! but i did not ask for a picture even though he is suppose to be well known. haha! next to his booth had another well known artist doing tattooing. and that is Paul Booth.

right, the next 2 days will walk around and see art. and there is a temporary tattoo booth. should go check the cost of it and maybe go do for the thrill of it. heehee... and yes, mom still wants me to get something permanent!

geez...

2009-01-04T20:50:00.002+08:00

I MET 2 NEW ANIMAL FRIENDS YESTERDAY! the puppies Mocha and Gemma. Sorry, no pictures for now.

and there was Diamond outside the house, cuz she is unable to control her bladder due to the irresponsible owners that tortured her the last time. but at least she is in a safe and happy place now.

oh my, the pups are really adorable. Gemma kept biting my sock! Mocha looks like a golden retriever more than a schnauzer. Gemma looks like a mop. haha!!! didn't get to spend much time playing with them, so cannot say much. but they are really really cute X 1million-times.

as usual, there Titus my beloved who totally went crazy upon see me. how can you not love Titus? he just melts my heart...

okok, i promise that the next time i visit, i will take many many pictures of the puppies (which by then may have grown little bigger) and add them to my animal friends album.

ohoh, dinner last night was good... yummilicious... i want to do shopping there!

2008-12-27T22:04:00.002+08:00

oh yeah... another thing on my list strike off - drum lessons. yippee!!! i'm paying for them, in case you were wondering.

anyhow, it is amazing what i got for christmas this year. 2 items which i needed and wanted - 1) a mousepad [story goes that i left behind my doraemon one back at the old office at boat quay. i don't think J took it with her when she left that place]; 2) the Nike toiletry bag that i always wanted to buy but never decided on it whenever i see it in sports shop.

i feel so blessed with these 2 items. they are useful and just what i needed. ok, probably i'm just easily satisfied.

thank you Lord.

2008-12-24T22:37:00.002+08:00

the AMK-Bishan adventure on Christmas eve

okie, i attempted last minute shopping adventure on the other side of Singapore. considering that i always end up empty handed whenever i am out, finally on this attempt i bought stuff!!! *cheers*

and while walking + window shopping, i asked myself "what happened to the creative brain cells of mine?" it seems that i was not able to think of anything creative or unique to give or get. candies were an option, but i thought, after consumption, it will be gone and forgotten. i always feel that it should be something that would remind you of the person who gave it to you. let's just say that i am sentimental.

continue on my adventure... as i was about to give up searching and head home, i had no idea what came to my mind and told me to get socks. and as i walked towards the right, *presto* and there was a sock shop just there! okie, initially i wanted to get like these cute animal pens, but they were quite expensive to get many of them. so i decided on the socks for mobile phones. and since the price was fairly reasonable, i grabbed a couple of them and went back to take a look at the pens again. it was just irresistible, so i grabbed 6 of them and the total bill came up to about 48buckaroos. that's alright i suppose, it did not burn the pocket that bad. so yeah...

oh well, i still have the 50buckaroos which i do not know what to get myself. dang~ this is so irritating. i know i need a belt, but i want a nice, special black leather belt. where to find?!
i have already pampered myself this year with 2 pairs of shoes, a new macbook, a 2nd hand crumpler bag, 2nd hand bike, new adidas duffel, new jeans, imported t-shirt and camou cap... what else do i need? hmm... should i just change the money into malaysian dollar and shop till i drop there?! haha!! that way i can stretch every dollar!

anyway, i still think my imported Christmas gift to J will stun her much, cuz i believe it will be something special which she might not be expecting to get. i guess i always touch the hearts of the people close to my heart.

MERRY BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!

2008-12-20T23:54:00.002+08:00

powerhouse+ watched a video today. and boy, the universe/galaxy that God created is indeed indescribable.
the images flashed were breath-taking and there seriously are no words to describe it. i have never imagined the galaxy to be what i have seen today.

God is just so amazing that you can be loss for words. He is truly an amazing God.

2008-12-19T21:15:00.002+08:00

be thou my vision

i enjoyed myself at camp like never before.
i listened to sermons like never before.
i cried my heart out like never before.
i worshipped like never before.
i prayed like never before.

everything has been great and wonderful this entire week, despite having minimal sleep. worships and sermons slapped me right in the face, made me think alot about what am i seriously doing. testimonies shared were really moving. it is really great to see how God works in lives of the confused and lost.

i thought to myself - what would my life be like if i were a lost sheep out there doing things which are not right? would i be able to feel God calling me back time and time again, so that i can feel his love more than just being a 2nd gen believer? i really do not know, and am unable to paint the image within my head.

i feel so refreshed and i believe it was a good way to end the year for me. cuz i am unsure of when will the next time i get to be at camp for whole 4 nights.

2008-12-14T23:29:00.002+08:00

away mode

location: camp
duration: 4nights

but fret not, i am still able to get internet access. at least for myself only. heeheehee... taking my laptop with me for camp man. how privilege to be able to do that? okok, i shall not brag about it and be anti-social.

as mentioned before, it has been quite sometime ever since i took part in a camp. people just wondered how i managed to slip away from previous camps. *grins*

i hope camp will be great and refreshing.

2008-12-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

on discovery channel for today

i made a few amazing discoveries today.

1) a shocking one that i would have never expected it - 2 people i know from internship times are married to each other!! had to like confirm and re-confirm with friend if it is true. and presto! indeed it was! and started "gossiping" to J about it. J was also stunned by what i told her. hahaha!!!

2) this someone whom i have been working closely with for bulletin was from the alma mater of mine too. this one is 'lagi' funny cuz we were on yahoo messenger like for the past 2 months or so, but did not know much about each other until today! hahaha!!! there will be more to be talked about in the later days man.

geez... will be at camp next week. it has been long time ever since i was fully part of powerhouse+ camp. hope everything would be great and i can also learn something from it. =)

will so lug the lappy to camp even though there is no wireless to mooch for work. but heck it anyhow.

yay!! going to watch percussion concert tomorrow. whoot!!

2008-12-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

Adiós

good bye to my friends who are living on water. will really be missing you guys and the times we have spent together.

to julia - you are soft-spoken, and you have a good heart.
to iryna - thanks for all the fun that you brought.
to hye jung - the one who does not look her age.
to anna - who never fails to brighten up someone's day. gonna be missing your laughter. and i know you cried when the ship set sail.
to richard - you are the number 1 team leader.
to ben - you are creative, funny and emo.

hope to be seeing you guys again soon.

watching the ship set sail was great. seeing how the final gangway was lifted off the ground and onto the ship.

i toured the ship twice, but i still think i will be lost. haha!!

looking forward to the ship's return the next time.

2008-12-05T00:49:00.002+08:00

iMisses

these 2 weeks were enjoyable. hosted 6 foreigners from the Doulos ship. then my auntie and little cousin were here for a week. had my starburst chewies from her. yayness!

and yes, am missing those people now. the Doulos team were great people. thanks to Richard, Ben, Hye Jung, Anna, Iryna and Julia for sharing your ministries with us. really appreciate what was taught to the youth. bunked over with the team on their final night of stay. we tried to watch dvd at 2am, but the disc can't be played smoothly. so we all ended up sleeping. i certainly enjoyed their company and their presence. it had been quite sometime we had guests living in church. =) now i feel so bored in office. no more running up and down, getting lunches for the team and campers.

and then there was my auntie. glad to be able to have dinner with her before her departure. i did not go send her off, cuz i know i will be crying again. whenever they return and leave, tears sure bound to swell up in my eyes. guess this really shows how much they mean to me. they were always my refuge and hiding place when they were here.

oh geez... it's the 5th day of the final month of the year already. how time flies like don't know whaaaaattt... it's gonna be a busy month ahead with camps, special events, dinner sessions... aiyoyo...

and i am still upset that i missed the channel 8 45th anniversary re-telecast on Sunday. argh~~~ how could i have missed both features?! all because they didn't show on TV mobile on the actual day. if not i could have caught like a bit of it. sucks!!! i hardly like miss these special shows on tv. hurhurhur... i hope they produce a commemorative dvd or something like that for the public.

2008-11-26T21:32:00.002+08:00

oh,

over dinner this evening with some ladies, we had so much laughter. very fun... how i wished everyday will be like this where i can be happy all day long.

indeed, laughter is the best medicine on earth.

and i taught 2 young girls how to use excel today.

2008-11-26T20:34:00.002+08:00

oh my goodness...

for the past 2 weeks, i have been eating eating and eating!! there will be more eating to be done in the next month, and then the month after too. really got to get daily running started man...

why are there times of the year where we can be eating and eating for long periods of time?

2008-11-24T23:35:00.002+08:00

highlight of the day

i was a "calefare"... LOLZ...
extra-ed as IT support staff at a 10min meeting, which was quite retarded. pretended to know stuff and took notes for action. lolz...

laughter is the best medicine. J and i had laughed so much at her newly acquired x1 phone, that had a faulty on/off button, unstoppable scrolling of contacts, and others. we just laughed and laughed at those stupid things. oh, someone was trying to call and look for a person named "Ah Kun", but the office had no such person. we then cracked a Ya Kun Kaya Toast joke from there on. it was really hilarious.

off to emerald hill for drinks then. more saddening stories of Diamond the dog who is now being abandoned at J's house with bad skin condition. i'm praying that a kind-hearted and responsible person will be sent to J and willing to adopt the poor pup. i wish i could save it from further torture, but i can't.

home thereafter for dinner with the rest of the clan.

i'm suppose to get my starburst gummies from my auntie today, but she forgot to bring them to the house. nevermind, i will wait. =)

got a fairly busy week ahead. so yay...

2008-11-23T23:27:00.002+08:00

*phew*

had a busy week playing host to 6 members from the Doulos ship. it has been a little bit tiring, but i am enjoying every bit of it. no matter how tired i am, the smile will still be on my face, cuz it is something that i enjoy doing - being around people and being of help.

the 2-day camps have gone pretty so far as of now. on the average of 10 youth per day. there are still 3 days to go, and i just enjoy sitting there watching the youth learn. of cuz, i too learnt some lessons and tricks.

oh, the entire week, i only had dinner at home 1 day. tuesday had dinner with the team then went down town to pick up my adapter. the service there sucks by the way. wednesday, accompanied the boys to take bus to the airport for dinner with SP. thursday, went to attend a meeting after work. and friday is CG, then went to the airport to pick up my auntie and little cousin who flew in from melbourne. special Doulos programme for Powerhouse+ and then went dinner with the team at Eastpoint.
yupz, that was how busy my week was.

one thing to be happy about is that - my auntie is here with my cousin!! yay!! happy happy and jumps around!!

i shall be zonking off soon. and i will be doing something stupid tomorrow for someone. *giggles and more giggles*

2008-11-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

thought of the day: i want my life back.

2008-11-11T22:52:00.002+08:00

OH GREAT AND WONDERFUL...
MY MACBOOK'S POWER KAPUTED ON ME!

IT DIED JUST WHEN I TOOK OUT THE BATT AND LET IT RUN DIRECTLY A.C.
BRILLIANT... AND I HAVE APPROX. 1HR 17MINS OF JUICE TO LAST ME FOR TONIGHT.

THIS IS FREAKINGLY IRRITATING!!!

2008-11-11T19:28:00.002+08:00

i almost had the chance to reconnect with person X whom i said "bye" to about 3 years ago. i had walked pass her, but i did not say hello! oh man, i totally regret it now! i don't know what came over me that stumped me there and then.

maybe it was because she was on the phone and it wasn't nice to interrupt? or was i afraid that she might not recognise me? or was it that i was kinda in a rush, that i had lost my train of thought?

i am so totally regretting it now!!!

*wonder when will be the next time by fate that i will bump into her again?*

2008-11-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

current favourite song

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.*
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
-- by Daughtry

2008-11-10T00:00:00.002+08:00

i don't know what to blog about.

i have mixed feelings. plenty of them which makes me feel down.

*sigh sigh sigh sigh*

2008-11-05T23:28:00.002+08:00

grow growing grew

rrright... weird title for an entry i admit.

some people said i have grown up much in terms of from a playful "kiddy" to a more serious person with a purpose in life.
but i asked myself, "have i really grown up that people see the change in me?" well maybe, since my vision has been affirmed.

so, what or how has my current work helped me grow? am i even growing? what have i accomplished thus far in terms of the initial goal/purpose that i thought i was prepared for?

i really don't know...

am i prepared to hang on and do whatever i am doing at the moment, with some tweaking to the current job scope? or would i be better off just doing what i do best - being a lay leader at Powerhouse+.
honestly, i need time to interact with people. i can't be bogged down with work all the time that i do not have a social life outside of where i am stuck with. at the same time i feel that, by multi-tasking, i tend to lose focus of what my primary role is.

i kinda miss the good ole' days where i can just come and go anytime i like, or be involved in whatever or whenever i can or time permits me to. i feel i am handling too much at one time at the moment. and sometimes, i sense that i am taken for granted 24/7, just cuz i am in charge, anybody can just ring me anytime and get the things they need. seriously sometimes, going to church can be quite a chore at times. which i know that should never never be.

everyday i play a game of hide and seek (imagine indian movies and coconut trees) which is darn ridiculous. facing unreasonable, irrational people is really a pain in the [fill in the blank with what you like].

so, is it time to move on? i think it is about time to do something for myself.

what do you think?

oh Lord, i feel so lost now. am i really prepared to sacrifice what i have now? i really don't know what to do next. the heart is telling me to pursue the vision that came out of nowhere, which i certainly believe that it was You who placed that burden/need in my heart. on the other hand, there are other circumstances which needs decision making.
just give me a sign Lord... i know i am dreaming big about the vision in mind. but without action, the dream will always be a dream. i would like to turn it into a reality...

i know the clock is ticking and i will need to give an answer. *tick tock tick tock*

not the happy, jovial person as before.

2008-11-03T17:46:00.003+08:00

i feel like going on a shopping spree, buying stuff that i want. haha!

some very tempting items are:
- ~~2nd hand PSP @ $280 (17 games included)~~ SOLD
- brand new iPod (which i said i wanted to get it last month)
- xbox 360?

hmmz...

2008-11-01T21:39:00.002+08:00

i missed the ice skating today. cuz my foot is still in pain. :( went to see the doc and got some medication. at least the pain is not as severe compared to 2 days ago. i can now at least put full pressure on the whole feet. yup...

anyhow, knowing that i can't skate, i still travelled to leisure park. brought my laptop along and went to starbucks and mooch the wireless. haha!! did some work there and msn-ed the "sista", talking bout her pups which will be arriving anytime now. haha!!
she tried asking if i want to keep a dog. but i said that, mom won't want it even though i would like to have one. she said try showing mom photo of jewel. haha! no matter how cute it is, mom still will say no. cuz she won't know what to do if jewel "bombs" 6 pups! it will gonna be a nightmare!! prays that it will just be 3, at max 4. and yay! i will have more doggie fwens the next time i go visit! i hope the pups will not be given up so soon...

oh my, i really cannot wait to hear the good news that the pups have arrived. how funny that it isnt' my dog, but i'm so excited. wahahah!!

let's see, what else is there?! like nothing much... but i've got a new watch from mom. that's about it.

2008-10-28T19:41:00.004+08:00

one and a half day break

and so, on monday i left the house at 9.00am to ride the train all the way to the end of the east-west line. that took me exactly about 45mins , cuz i arrived there just on time. hopped into the car at the parking lot and off i go to malaysia!! and yes, it takes skill to fill in the stupid white card when someone is driving and it's like minutes away from the checkpoint. lolz...

we took the bumpy terrain ride to the house. so fun!! saw upcoming developments being built, universities being planned for the future, marine activity centre. how exciting!!

back at the house, i was greeted by best friend. or in fact this time round, it was best friendS! (yes, with a capital S) because Silver was so affectionate with me. it was a total 360 degree change in him. he bit me the last time i first met him. and there was Titus as usual. he's still as charming as ever. but Silver was the one who kept sniffing and being cheeky around me. and he was humping on me!! do i even smell like a female dog? and there's Jewel, and she's going to be a mother i a couple of days!!! i wonder how many pups is she carrying in her? she's been panting and panting alot, it must be tough for her, a tiny dog to be carrying all the weight. i can't wait to hear the good news!!

shortly after my arrival, we headed out for brunch at another shopping mall. then after, we walked a bit in the mall and grabbed some snacks for the movie marathon for the day. oh, thank God that i noticed the plastic bag of snacks i bought had a hole and i took my wallet out cuz i threw it in after i paid for the snacks. *phew* and so we headed home, and i started on WallE. quite a nice one i think. even robots fall in love... haha!! then J wanted to watch Money No Enough 2, so i watched with her + being her personal audio interpreter. J cried a couple of times for those emo scenes. movie was paused and we walked the doggies for the evening. the little girl of the dog whom J rescued and gave back saw us walking the dogs, and she asked J if she can walk her dog with her. and so i accompanied along. [please see part 2 of the story at the end of this entry]
went back and showered, then left to grab dinner at the night market. i had corn on the cob, lime juice, and a packet of carrot cake back home for dinner. got back home, and continued on the movie till the end. it was 10+, and i had no idea what to watch. so i watched Run Papa Run myself. =) went to sleep after it finished. honestly, i think i didn't sleep well last night. haha!!

today morning, i "pretended" to be sleeping. i know that Silver and Titus jumped on my bed (cuz i was sleeping outside) trying to wake me. I tried to nap for a while longer. and guessed what?! Titus came up and snuffed me without "Mama" knowing. cheeky boy huh... had coffee, then walk the doggies again. brought Jewel out for light brunch and she was so well-behaved. and, i met 2 cute little boys with their grandama. the mixed malay+chinese boy had big eyes and long lashies! he's so charming and adorable... how i wished my nephew was like this. went back after makan-ing, relax for a while, and it's time to get my arse back here. =(

and yes, i am on a "Rescue Diamond" mission. cuz that little girl whom we walked her dog with, they are not a good, responsible family to own the dog. she is a spoilt kid. thankfully Mom has relatives in JB, so can gather some help to get Diamond out of the horrible place. i am determined to find Diamond a better owner than the little girl's family who doesn't care much about the dog's life.

alright, i have a joke to tell. here goes:
J to me: eh, so your malaysian boyfriend is, dark, black, and hairy. but not very tall lehx...
me to J: *nods* yes!
go figure out who if you can... lolz...

well, do i want to buy a house in malaysia? do i even think of moving out of where i am living? maybe, possible... but i don't have enough $$$$. 10, 2o years down the road, we shall see...

apologies... no photos taken on this trip.

2008-10-25T22:35:00.002+08:00

looonnnggg weekend

YAY! the extended weekend is here again! but i'm getting away for a day. well, it supposed to be for 2, but due to last minute change, had to cut short one day. oh well, none the less that it is a getaway from a busy uptight singapore. haha!!

i wanna beach holiday at bintan or batam soon!! serene chang, are you game for it?!?!

friday night CG will shrink again. i know i won't br CG-less, but... i don't know...

oh! i went ice skating today with the befriender's club kids. quite fun... and cuz we don't know what to do for powerhouse+ outing, i suggested to do the same - go ice skating. hahaha!! let's see how many people will turn up next saturday at the rink.

i will then go bowl a game or 2 after that.

geez... sounds like i'm going to spend quite a bit of $$$ ehx?! hahaha!!!

2008-10-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

another item strucked off the shopping list.
i bought myself an adidas duffel bag. and i seriously think is exactly the same one bryan had got from vietnam.
oh well, i cannot complain much cuz i bought it with a $30 gift voucher. which meant i only paid 25buckaroos for it.

i saw the pair of slippers i wanted for a darn long time on 50% sale!!! i should just got it on the spot, but i had no idea why i didn't do so. how dumb and silly of me. maybe i will just go back there tomorrow and buy it. wahahah!!

my freaking room is in a mess! or should i say, organised mess?!

2008-10-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

the mind wondering

is there afterlife for animals? or in fact, for all living things?

is there really a rainbow bridge, where our beloved pets will go to after leaving this world. will they be enjoying their 2nd new life there, and at the same time, waiting for us to be with them once again.

but then, if animals can communicate with you through their emotions, won't they also have a soul?

i think it is the first time that i felt so much over an animal that died. perhaps you may be thinking that, "it's just an animal... what's there to be sad about?" well, i think it's because i was his "babysitter" and he sometimes was my responsibility.

and i don't remember being so upset that i had lost 2 bunnies before. but i suppose, there is this connection that you feel or have with a dog. the feeling is different.

maybe also why dogs are considered man's best friend.

and to you, thank you for entrusting murphy into my hands when you were away. i certainly enjoyed my short stays with him.

2008-10-13T21:45:00.003+08:00

i actually cried over the loss of prince murphy. and i had initially thought that i could visit him once he recovers. but i did not even had the chance to bid goodbye. :(

never would i have thought that i will cry over him, because i do not own him at all. but i suppose there is this emotional attachment to him for the last 2 years or so.

to my best memory, he is the first dog that i got to know upclose. he was so well-mannered and obedient that he doesn't jump on or bark at you for no reason. that is why i love him muchies.

what i'm praying now is that, the rest of the "children" will be fine after realising this loss in the family. i pray also that "mama & papa" will be stronger to manage the rest of the kids after this tough time.

i should pay them a visit soon.

2008-10-13T18:05:00.003+08:00

a dedication to prince murphy
you barked at me the very first time i met you, cuz you had thought i was an intruder to your home. but no, you warmed up to me after a while. and since then, i called you "my new best friend."

months after that, i had the privilege of baby sitting you for the few days before the new year. i missed those times spent with you when your "parents" were not around.

you are a greedy dog, but at the same time a happy one. cuz you had lots of tender-loving care from the people whom you know. you made the office alive with your presence.

you are also a brave dog who will always protect your "parents and siblings" when faced with dangerous situations. i'm proud of you.

and you were indeed like a human being. you understood what we said about you. and you try to be cheeky and naughty at times. that's you.

even though you were not mine, you were a part of me and my life.

prince murphy, you lived a good life and will be dearly missed.

[=ilu=]

2008-10-07T23:36:00.002+08:00

i just realised that, there are many things i would love to do but did not have the chance to do so.

play badminton, play the guitar, play the drums, photography, *what else?*

so what if i had received a badminton racket as a christmas present long long time ago? i had no official lessons.

i had once received a classical guitar. what then? i also did not go for lessons.

the only enrichment thingie i recalled attending was gymbobs where i learnt how to do forward and backward rolls.
i remembered there were art classes that i went do. but that didn't help me, cuz i can't draw for nuts.
and there were the once ever popular abacus classes. oh my 天! i remembered attending classes at the RC for a period, then went to a private class. but i always never do homework. it accumulated and accumulated. haha!! but i stilll can remember some of the "formula" from those classes.
oh, i had maths tuition during primary school. and guess what? i also never do tuition homework. i only remembered the one time i did was because teacher say will give me something if i do it. so i did and got rewarded. haha!!

yup... do i have a childhood? i don't think so lehx...

i think people will be surprised to know that i have never gone clubbing, to zouk, mos, st james or any kind of those places before. but that does not mean that i do not drink. i do drink, but at decent places like pubs or chill out places.

what was or am i missing out? i really have no idea. i just want to satisfy myself with the things i did not have or get to do.

i long and yearn for many things.

2008-10-06T23:25:00.002+08:00

life after work is already boring enough. no friends to go out with, no where to go chill. why can't i have some entertainment of my own even at home?

found a 7ft foldable pool table, complete with a set of balls + 7 cues of different length on sale for less than 600buckaroos!! good deal isn't it?!

apparently my mom thinks it's expensive and don't even want to listen to me talk about it. she asked where to put if buy? so i said my room. space? dump away those unwanted stuff in the room, reconfigure furniture around, should not be a problem then.

oh please, i think i have complained thousand and one times that part of my room is chucked with stuff from donkey years ago. and currently, the living room has like luggages, mattresses, and dvd players lying around. gosh, where am i living at?! a pig sty? the storeroom is kept with 'god-knows-what' until there has absolutely no room to walk. i call it a warehouse, not storeroom.

can i like move out and live with minimal stuff?

2008-10-06T16:22:00.001+08:00

i want to watch mama mia!

2008-10-04T22:54:00.003+08:00

Christmas wish list 2008 (cont)

item no. 2: slippers - haivanas or a white rip curl

click here to find out what other item is on the wish list

2008-10-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

i watched a video the day before yesterday and watch it again yesterday (since it's saturday already)... i liked it and i'm sorta able to relate to it. anyhow, i think i can watch that same video over and over again (countless times) and ask myself "what am i busy with?" what can i say "no" to, if i had said "yes"?

is life filled with the less important things than the more important ones? are we willing to let go of the less important stuff in life and be focused and disciplined towards the more important ones?

i like these 2 things he said - 1) "can't be everything for everybody.", 2) "being busy is a drug that alot people are addicted to."

yes, cheryl can't be the everything for everybody. people should learn to not rely on that 1 person. moreover, i do not want to be the everything for everybody. it get tiring you know...

yes yes, and we know we are always busy. but, just what are we busy with? school? work? and god knows what? is it then an excuse for us not to bother or care about the important things, when we don't even know exactly what we are busy with.

okok... enough of ramblings here...

*snooze*

2008-10-01T14:05:00.002+08:00

ripped this off someone's blog entry.

"A best friend isn't someone whose just always there for you; it's someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself."

an so i wonder... is there someone who understands me more than myself, who i can call him/her as my best friend?

i suppose not.

2008-10-01T01:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!

just felt like wishing everybody that...

2008-09-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

i am beginning to think - with a personality like mine, what type of job i should be suitable for?

a friend once told me that, he knew an office 9 to 5, deskbound job wasn't for me.

at my age, what do i really need?

i think (or rather) i need a social life. cuz i like staying out - whether outdoors or whatsoever. as long as i am away from the desk and walking around meeting the needs of others, i am happy and fulfilled.

perhaps another friend was right that i make myself feel miserable, by thinking negatively that i have no life.
honestly, i really would love to meet up with old friends. whether it's just over a cup of coffee or a meal, i will be happy. but i haven given into fate that i can never meet them, cuz at the very last hour things happened. it seriously sucks, even though i pretend that nothing happened. or maybe cuz i am already immune to it, as i could have predicted that it will not work out.

which is why i guess i need to know more people than just who i meet in church.
i can say that, among the 389 contacts in my phone, most of them are there for show. cuz i don't sms them, just keeping track of who i have known as friends.

so tell me tell me, what should i be doing?

*sighs* and a huff

i wonder, does anybody visit this space?

2008-09-28T22:35:00.002+08:00

i would have wanted to see Alonso, Raikkonen and Hamilton standing on the podium after the race.

but Raikkonen "buanged" and could not complete the race. but he is so dashing... blonde hair, blue eyes... aw...

and oh, camera caught a bit of hamilton's brother. a bit cuter than lewis lah, i think...

ok lah, quite exciting to watch the F1 race. watching the cars doing their turn, gaining opportunities for overtaking.

vroom vroom vroom...

hahahaha!!!!

2008-09-28T18:58:00.000+08:00

and again...
i wasted the Sunday snoozing away...

sianz...

2008-09-27T23:20:00.003+08:00

Christmas wish list 2008

first item i wish to have: a punch bag

must be wondering why that? so that i can punch it whenever i feel down. vent the unhappiness and anger on it.
at the same time, can get some exercise. hahaha!!!

2008-09-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

choices, options, decisions...

how? what? which one?

alamak... jia lat...

*sighs*

2008-09-25T23:03:00.002+08:00

things to do

finish reading book

write review on book

catch up on TARA 3

start watching Heroes 3 online

yup, that is a list of what i need to do/complete. haha!

i can't wait for the public holiday next week!!!

2008-09-23T23:02:00.002+08:00

can i be selfish?

i want many things that i hardly got as a kid.
i want to live better than now.
i want things my way.

am i asking for too much?
i don't know why am i wanting good things so badly.

good is never enough.

2008-09-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

i just have to write about this.

people: me and john chang
location: reads@hpc, 3rd level

me walking across the hall, seeing john at reads
me: hi john!
john: hi.
just before i stepped out of the room
john: what's the date today?
me: er... 21st!
me walks out

lagi random post than the one before this. but i kinda find it amusing.

2008-09-21T22:10:00.002+08:00

i want...

the sentence can be completed in many ways with the above phrase.

and it is also a phrase which most of us would use.

why am i posting such random stuff?
no idea.

2008-09-20T21:23:00.002+08:00

am i tired?

i don't know.
perhaps i am.

so, what's next?

i need a compass to point me to the right direction.

2008-09-15T21:26:00.002+08:00

caught a bit of the Paralympic Games images on tv earlier.

they may be physically disabled, but they also have the desire to win at the games. the competitiveness amongst players, the aggressive playing. you could also clearly see their emotions when they know that they had lost the game or match. the disappointment in their eyes and faces.

that made me realise that, they are no different from us normal human beings. we want to be successful in the things we are passionate about. we do not want disappointment.

my heart goes out to them. i salute the paralympic athletes.

I have often dreamed, of a far off place,
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me,
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face,
And a voice keeps saying, "this is where I'm meant to be."

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong,
I'll know every mile, will be worth my while,
When I go the distance I'll be right where I belong.

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though the road may wander, it will lead me to you,
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through.

And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms,
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
-- Go The Distance by Michael Bolton

2008-09-13T23:23:00.002+08:00

i enjoyed myself today, making new friends and the excitement ahead.

i saw adults and young people who are committed to changing the lives of other youngsters through volunteerism. just how many adults out there are really into investing time into youth, making them into people who can contribute back to the community?

now, i am asking myself - how can i help? what areas can i contribute? can i help pull strings and tie 2 organisations together? how can our busy youth get involved? do they see it as something that would benefit others instead of just focusing on themselves?

in what ways an impact can be created and spread around? would working with another group of youth be more rewarding than what i am doing right now? what is the outcome that i want to see?

so many questions, but so few answers. i don't even know how to phrase the questions proper.

am i too complicated?

2008-09-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

dang it...
i'm now torn in between the new iPod Nanos and the new iPod Classic.

will i be listening and storing 30k of music and songs?
or, will i even have 4k of songs to listen to?

argh~~ guess i will have to see the real thang then decide what to get.
then again, i would not know what to engrave on it if i order it online.

word of the day: techno-lusting
definition: the desire to own latest gadgets

2008-09-09T00:46:00.003+08:00

lolz... i walked into LV shop at Taka ~~today~~ yesterday. (just realised it is after midnight)

and the friend who arranged to have lunch forgot to inform that she isn't feeling well to meet us. how wonderful to travel all the way down town and got "aeroplaned".

mooncake fiesta at Taka. tried the lychee-tini(lychee+martini) mooncake. tasted not bad.

managed to get home in time and picked up the call from Downunder.

and i am tasked with homework.

2008-09-07T23:17:00.002+08:00

i bought new jeans. 2 pairs in fact. Giodarno didn't have the belt i wanted. time to hunt for nice looking belt(s).

AND........

I FOUND MY ANGKLUNG BAND T-SHIRT!!!
thought that i had lost it at some camp, but NO! it was all the while in the wardrobe, stacked under random clothings that i hardly wear.
since i have found the shirt, which means i also cleared away the very old clothings from the wardrobe. was laughing at all the old stuff that i wore before. no more old clothings, only current clothes in there. but there ain't much more space to add new clothes though.

time for a new and bigger wardrobe? i should drag myself to Muji and buy storage shelves with the vouchers i have.

next to clear will be the remaining bookshelves. i had previously cleared 3 and reshuffled some stuff. but there is still 5 to clear and make room for stuff.

i wonder when will the old PCs, disc players and many other useless stuff be cleared from my room...

2008-09-06T21:57:00.003+08:00

an amazing, great mass cook-out indeed.

God was awesome. He blessed us with perfect weather for the entire afternoon. i am happy to see the sun and get some vitamin D. haha!!!

it was fun seeing everybody dashing to out of the park under the rain.

i'm tired for now.

and oh yes, i stepped back onto SAC grounds today after a long long time... took the opportunity (mom went to pick up stock @ cafe) to go look see look see what has changed.

i noticed shelter was built on the passage way to the music room. yar, i always remembered we had to run across the slope to the music room whenever it rained.
more chairs and tables were set at the pond area and the front of the level 1 classrooms. they have cool chairs at the back of the canteen too... it is like so 'shiok' to go to school now lah... lolz... and of cuz, i saw the angklungs hanging at our CCA area.

too bad i didn't venture to the staff room to check out which 'chers were there. hahaha!

2008-09-03T23:39:00.001+08:00

driving, drums?
driving, drums?
driving, drums?
driving, drums?

which should i do first? hahaha...

choices choices.

how bout let's take a poll?!

lolz...

2008-09-02T22:37:00.003+08:00

i'm proud to say that...

i know a journalist.

she's a friend-cum-ex-colleague.

i know you won't be seeing this, but i love you friend. chill at your tough job kay...

edited
maybe, just maybe i should go learn to mix cocktail. hmm... there's a smoothie recipe book my mom bought. and in there, they teach you how to make margarita, martini and all... seriously, i should go buy the cocktail shaker and give it a try eh?

2008-09-01T22:20:00.003+08:00

and so, the entire family (except for 1) is now proudly SONY ERICSSON converts. YAHOO!!!

- 2 ~~w960i~~ w910i
- 1 c902
- 1 k800i

i very much would like to have the G900i. then maybe with that, i will get an iPod Classic?? iPod Touch is tempting too cuz of the Wi-Fi. but with G900, it has that function too. so yeah... kinda in a dilemma.

well, pros and cons to both the Apple gadgets. so still considering...

oh, and the mother has abandoned the kids at home and left to JB to look at babies.

2008-08-31T17:33:00.002+08:00

i saved a kitten from roaming in the dangerous car park. found a box and put that poor fella inside and put the box above low ground. i didn't want it to get out of the box and let it walk freely in the car park again. cars don't give a damn about what's underneath. it probably would just get crushed to death by any oncoming cars. and it is so tiny that, it may not know how to react.

i hope it is still save and sound. i would have brought it home if i could. on the other hand, i didn't want to cuz the mother cat could be just somewhere. i'd rather leave it behind and hopefully they can somehow find each other.

now i would like to complain about the cleaners at TAMPINES BLK 139 ROUND MARKET.
one of the cleaners doesn't seem to like her job very much. she doesn't give a damn about the people sitting next to the food disposal area. a bucket with food remains, she just overturned and dumped it. BUT some of the "juice" were poured out of the dispose area, thus dirtying the floor. and so the same cleaner was washing the floor, she just splashed the water from outside in. and there was an umbrella (belonging to a friend) which was left hanging on the waste disposal thingie, and they left it on the floor. without checking, she just started splashing the water to wash the floor. it was such a hard splash that the water hit the shoes of some sitting next to it.

i thought to myself - why can't she be more considerate? i didn't like the way she worked. i was quite determined to wait for her to appear again so that i could confront her and tell her off about what she was doing. she didn't, and she was lucky. i so would have raised my voice and told her off. if i'd really had done it and she found it offensive, then i'm sorry. i may sound as though i want to pick a fight, but that's how i talk and deal with people like this.

if i were to see her again, she'd better watch out.

2008-08-31T00:24:00.004+08:00

1 vodka sprite
1 corona
1 peach martini
1 choya martini

that's what i drank for the evening. me ain't drunk though.

but i'm definitely excited about things.

edited
and oh, singapore is way too small a country. so many coincidences and why am i not surprised. we people are linked one way or another.

i never regret having a booze tonight.

2008-08-21T22:37:00.002+08:00

我可以写华文

rrright... i am the mountain tortoise who did not know mac can write chinese until today. hohoho...

i shall attempt to blog in 华文 some other time.

我是笨蛋。

2008-08-18T22:18:00.002+08:00

clumsy hands and butter fingers

bought a new earring today and got home to try it while watching tv. with a slip of the fingers, one side of the screw dropped on the floor and went missing!!

how brilliant i am, right?! one screw is lost even before i wore it.

*sigh*