today, i was told about something which i did not expect at all. i don't wish to say it here, cuz it is a public domain. i thought it was meant to be a joke, but then again, i knew it wasn't. that totally caught me off guard, although i knew about the couple of suggestions that was made. but i did not indicate an interest in it.

i feel that i am living 2 lives. which is the real me? i can't always be faking on one side, and be real on the other. i can be honest with my feelings to person A, but not person B. sucks living dual lives.

anyway, if only i had the means to live on my own, i so will. i don't like to trouble people for help. i may not be able to do it now. and i don't know whether to laugh or say thank you to you, who is so willing to help me. i know you want the best for me and you are trying to help. thank you for your listening ear, and also for sharing what you had gone through and your life experiences. thank you for comforting me and your advices.

places and options. opened doors, closed doors. where to next? to some place quiet, on a reflective retreat? do i really want some alone time?